Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
