his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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