So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
