No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
