did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
