Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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