If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
