His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
