I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
