At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
