More tranny stories later!
I need to stop coming to work sober
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
