i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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