i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
