you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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