She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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