hotel room ftw
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
