last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
