I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
