Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
