Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
