did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
