Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
