We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize