Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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