And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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