Acid is not a monday night drug
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
