if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize