I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
