guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
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