The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
