I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
