i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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