This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
