Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
