I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
