In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He? As in you personified your dick?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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