okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just want nice things and good sex
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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