At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
