hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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