This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
