After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
