I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
