I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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