I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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