do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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