So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he shaved USA in his pubs
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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