Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Enjoy the penises
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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