i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i think i just lost a toe
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
