Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
