i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
