Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
