she smelled like a LAN party
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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