I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
