Moan for me like Helen Keller
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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