1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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