I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
