Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
