he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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