Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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