First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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