Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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