She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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