Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
