no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
