you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
