new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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