i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
