When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
