that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
