I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
