I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize