Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
