we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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